Why is it so difficult to lead oneself - even though we know what we need?

Self-leadership – sounds simple, doesn't it? After all, we should know what we need to feel good and feel balanced. But in reality, self-leadership is one of the most challenging things we can encounter in our everyday lives. Even though we know we need to exercise, eat healthy, take breaks and listen to our bodies, these are the very things we often fail to prioritize.

Why is that so?

The brain is programmed to protect us - from change

Our brain is built to protect us, and it's phenomenal at avoiding discomfort. When we try to lead ourselves by introducing new habits, changing our way of thinking or creating a balance between work and leisure, we encounter internal resistance. This resistance is due to the brain interpreting change as a threat – even if it is positive change that can improve our well-being.

When we find ourselves in a stressful or pressured situation, it is often easier to fall back on old habits that feel familiar and safe, even if they are not good for us in the long term. That's why it can feel impossible to turn off the screen and go for that exercise walk, or to log off from work to spend time with family without your mind drifting back to the day's deadlines.

Achievement and perfectionism block self-awareness

Another factor is our society's constant focus on achievement and being productive. Many of us feel pressure to perform at our peak, both at work and at home, and we struggle to be the best version of ourselves. But in the pursuit of being "good enough" for others, we often forget what we ourselves actually need.

We overachieve, get caught up in comparing ourselves to others and place unreasonable expectations on ourselves. When we have an inner dialogue that constantly questions our ability or makes us feel like we are never enough, it becomes even more difficult to lead ourselves with care and compassion. We think in limited terms about ourselves, and this can block us from daring to prioritize what really matters to our well-being.

Social media: A constant distraction

One of the biggest challenges in our modern life is also the constant distraction from social media. We know we should let go of the screen, but when we're stressed or tired, it's often easier to scroll than to tackle the real challenges we face. Social media gives us instant reward, but at the expense of long-term balance and mental clarity.

The algorithms that power social media are designed to keep us hooked, and we get a short-term dopamine rush every time we interact with our feeds. It makes it hard to shut down and do something that would really benefit our health and well-being, like moving, meditating, or spending time with loved ones.

How can we begin to lead ourselves better?

So, how do we break this cycle and start leading ourselves more consciously? Here are some questions to think about, so get out a pen and paper and answer the following:

• What is most important to me in my life right now?

• What do I need in my everyday life to feel good?

• What can I do today and tomorrow to take a small step towards a more balanced life?

• Then plan your small steps towards a balanced (and happy life) into your calendar.

  
  

By asking these questions and giving yourself space to reflect, you can begin to gain insight into your priorities and slowly begin to lead yourself in a more conscious way. Remember that self-leadership is not about perfection, but about giving yourself permission to live in alignment with your values and needs.

Do you want to find more balance and feel better? Book a free consultation about life coaching here.